My dream would be that our kids do not have sex with anyone until they are married and that they experience that feeling of togetherness with their spouse on their wedding night.
I know that lots of people do not make that choice, but I also know there are lots of people that do, and I feel our kids are strong enough to make that choice as well.
Some may think it’s a selfish dream. That I’m projecting my beliefs on to my kids.
Actually, I feel it is a selfless dream. I feel they have so much to gain by waiting to save that act for their lifelong partner. The only thing I have to gain is seeing the joy on their face.
There are well-meaning parents that will try to get their kids to wait until they are married to have sex by telling them that sex is something that happens between two people that love each other. Is that really true, though?
If that’s true, then there are a lot of people that fall in love on the first date, have sex, and then decide they don’t love each other anymore… Resulting in a “one night stand.”
I absolutely want our kids to wait until marriage, but I refuse to trick them into doing it. I know people that say those things aren’t trying to trick their kids, but really, they are.
Sex can be between two strangers that don’t even know each other’s names. It can be between two people, only one of which is okay with the situation. It can be between an adult and a child. None of those scenarios is a pretty one. All 3 are damaging to how a person views sex in the future.
When you teach your kids that sex is between two people that love each other, it could lead to them confusing love and lust. They will be fooled into thinking they are in love with the first attractive person they come in contact with that gives them the warm fuzzies.
They need to understand that those “warm fuzzies” is something called lust. Attraction. It is NOT love. Love comes from knowing someone fully. All their beliefs, likes, dislikes, and having an emotional connection with them. All of which has nothing to do with sex.
Some parents will take all of this a step further and tell their kids that sex is between two married people whom love each other. This is also not true.
Is it what we would like for our kids? Of course. But it is not what always happens, so to state it as a fact that this is the way it ‘happens’ is an unrealistic way of letting your child view sex.
My suggestion is to talk to them about using their head instead of their hormones to make the decision. Teach them about the emotional connection that sex provides, and that they don’t want to just give all of themselves away like that to just anyone.
If you are a family that studies the Word of God, then lead them to stories in the Bible that teach about sex and how it should be approached. Pray with them about it and encourage them to pray with God about it on their own.
Help them to understand that while sex can be done with pretty much anyone, God has designed it to be done with the one that you love and have committed your life to forever.
He didn’t design it this way to deny us pleasure. He designed it this way, I believe, because He knew it would be the way that would give us the most pleasure, both emotionally and physically.